Today I almost called it quits on everything I’ve worked on to get where I’m at by just stopping. It was just too hard and I didn’t think I had another drop of ‘Just keep going’ in me. I wanted to stop journaling. I wanted to stop being curious. I wanted to stop discovering. I wanted to stop wondering what more is out there. I wanted to stop hoping. I just wanted to stop. Because if I stopped then maybe, just maybe, the excruciating pain would stop.
For. One. Brief. Moment. I. Could. Not. Breathe.
My dear friends, the pain doesn’t stop. It keeps marching forward just like time. And just like time, there is much we can learn from the painful moments. I felt overtaken by the current of knowing that I couldn’t stop the pain and I could feel myself drowning. And then I decided that being overwhelmed by the overwhelming was not a choice I wanted to make. So I made the choice to journal. I made the choice to be curious. I made the choice to keep discovering. I made the choice to wonder what more is out there. I made the choice to hope.
Hope comes in all shapes and sizes. It comes through tears. It comes in the opportunity to serve someone. It comes in teaching four young women, who are hungry to learn, about who they really are. It comes in talking to a loved one overseas. It comes in a family discussion about how we’re going to do better and be better as a family because family matters. It comes in a hymn sung at church. It comes in soft meditative music. It comes in a discussion with someone from Nepal on how to meditate. It comes in the quiet moments when the Savior says, “I’ve got you and together we’ve got this.”
Keep hoping…it comes.
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